Doubts started to creep into my mind as to my current level of play-im i really running bad or is it that im playing like a fish? So a session with my mentor to let him decide. Ive said this before and i still don’t understand why its so- but why do i get satisfaction from getting sucked out on-rivered-belly busted etc etc when someone is watching?! Sure it helps confirm what i already knew and im not going mad but it doesn’t help the P&L and it don’t pay the mortgage!!

Still i suppose having someone telling you your doing the right things and that indeed you are on the poker gods hit list is reassuring in some way but id much rather have a big fat winning day. I actually managed to finish in profit again today but it was a case of what could have been. I was a healthy three buy ins up at one stage before two truly sick rivers ended any hopes of a good day.

And here is the true pain of my situation (and the pain of many in the mentor group at the moment)- the pain of knowing that if you run the big losing hands 100 times that i win 80 of them times-the pain of knowing that i played the big hands right and over time i win- but the real pain of not giving a flying fcuk about the long term and just wishing just for once that i could have a big fat percentage winning day NOW!!